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Being Independent, Not Keeping Down with the Joneses
By: Debbie O'Meara
Most of us are fortunate enough to live in places where we’re free to choose how we live. What we think, what we do for a living, how we spend our time – for the most part, we choose all of those for ourselves.
“Independence” can refer to so many things. When we talk about our prosperity, what do we want to be independent of? From what must we declare our freedom?
Here’s a big one: independence from the limitations of the opinions of others. Many of us feel the conscious or unconscious need to live up – or down – to the expectations of others.
We’re playing roles in our families that we’re reluctant to break out of. Maybe our parents set parameters for our lives – big ones or small ones – and we’re afraid to burst through those boundaries and “disappoint” them.
We’re uncomfortable if we rise above our current peer group. That’s not just because we want to fit in, but also because our peers make us feel uncomfortable if we don’t. Many of the people who are in the same situation we are don’t want us to break out of it. If we do, it reminds them that they could too, if they wanted to. But they haven’t made the decision to do what it would take, and that’s not a good feeling. Even if they don’t actively hold us back, they don’t encourage us to break the mold.
I’ve heard it said that where you’ll be in five years can be predicted by looking at the five people you spend most of your time with. Why would that be? Because that’s the mindset you build around yourself. That’s the energy you spend your time in. If you consistently surround yourself with people in the same circumstances you’re in, you’re not in an environment that will help you generate new ideas that would move you beyond. And if you do come up with these ideas, you’re not supported in developing and pursuing them.
In his highly motivating book “Prosperity”, Charles Fillmore writes:
There is a great similarity in the homes of nearly all people who have about the same-sized incomes…But here and there are exceptions. Someone is expressing his or her individuality…This free, independent spirit has much in its favor in making a prosperity demonstration. The delusion that it is necessary to be just like other people are or to have as much as other people have causes a spirit of anxiety that hinders the exercise of faith in demonstration.
We all know to fight the tendency to envy what our neighbors have. Here we call it “keeping up with the Joneses” – that feeling that if the Jones family down the street got a new big-screen television set, we should get one too. But what about the urge to keep “down” with the Joneses? Is your circle of acquaintances subtly keeping you from looking ahead and thinking bigger? Are you choosing to let them? That’s not to say you need to give up your friends. But you can be open to more than what they see.
We’re lucky enough to live in societies that allow us our choices. What a waste it would be to not give ourselves the chance to exercise them.
About the Author
Debbie O'Meara is the owner of Lightrae Publishing, your source for abundance and prosperity resources around the Web. Visit http://www.lightrae.com for Charles Fillmore's book Prosperity, as well as Lightrae's free newsletter and free ebook. Please use and distribute this article in its entirety, including the byline and link to Lightrae Publishing. |
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